unpurposed

hello everybody. im addicted to dark chocolate covered espresso beans from starbucks. they cost a lot, but i won a raffle at school, so i got it for free. but really, the amount of money i won was equivalent to how much i owe the library in debt, so nothing really changed. the caffeine is attacking my brain and i think i will go crazy soon. ap tests are soon and that is where i assume everyone is studying crazily for them. there is a lack of activity everywhere. i am wearing a plain grey shirt because it is cool. and it describes how everything is right now. plain and grey. but really the sky is dark, so it should be plain and black or whatever color it is. dark dark dark blue. whatever.

once upon a time, there was a lonely boy. who just went to school everyday and sat through classes and struggled. and then one day a polar bear came out of the blizzard and attacked him. he was so lost, because it was impossible to see the polar bear in the snow, so the polar bear cut off the boy's toes and ran away with them. now the boy was lonely AND had trouble balancing. he wobbled around, tripping often, but he finally arrived at the door of his home. as he tried to find his keys, he realized that a very mean girl stole his keys. so he picked up the shotgun on the ground and walked over the girl's house, blew her head off, took the keys back, and opened the door. he went to his room and planned his financial future. he would be a millionaire by the time he was out of high school, because he would work at costco, which pays $17/hour. he would cut expenses and only get what he needed. so he didn't need any friends. because friends are wants and not needs. then he suddenly realized he already had a headstart because he had been lonely all his life. so he wrote a song and his financial plan worked fine and he died happy, friendless, and toe-less.

whenever i fill in bubbles for my name, i am always afraid that i will screw up and bubble in the wrong letter and then my name will be screwed up. same with the address and stuff. sometimes i even get afraid that i bubbled in the wrong gender. i dislike bubbles. i used to like bubbles. of course, they were soap bubbles. so i could pop them whenever i want and they won't affect my life. but now i have to bubble in bubbles that have complete control over my life. and sometimes the bubbles are in disgusting ovals. or ellipses. and sometimes they are rectangles. ive never seen square or triangles or stars. bubbles are strange.

once upon a time, there was an ant named q that felt like he was useless in his colony because he was just one in a billion billions. he had few friends because no one cared for each other in that colony. one day there was a slug that threatened to crawl down the ant colony and clog it up so all the ants will die. little q was scared and ran away. the rest of ants didn't care because they were arrogant fools. then slug clogged up ant colony and everyone died except for q. and then q was left by himself. to fight for his own life. he dug a hole and cried for days and days. in that little isolated place he waited and waited. then he realized he was really a she. and she could repopulate the whole colony. so she did and life was great again.

until the rain fell and everyone drowned except for those who floated onto leaves or other objects. q was a sinker but she grabbed onto another ant who grabbed onto another ant who grabbed onto another ant. and then q slowly climbed up that little floating chain of ants and used the others as floating devices, drowning them, but saving herself. the rain stopped and the sun came out, blinding q. because q could not see, she crashed into a tree and was killed. and thus ends the tale of q the little ant.

azN xrE taRD BOI: the lead signer of static-x wears converses
d0 Nk3X: omfg
d0 Nk3X: the world is ending
d0 Nk3X: omfg
azN xrE taRD BOI: yea
d0 Nk3X: Richard and Till were spooted wearing converese [rammstein]
d0 Nk3X: and Kyo too! [dir en grey]
azN xrE taRD BOI: kyo does
d0 Nk3X: ..
d0 Nk3X: ok seriosuly
d0 Nk3X: the world is ending

dreams can be broken down into 4 types. wish-fulfillment, fear, reflection, and memory. wish-fulfillment dreams suck the most because they just create something that one doesn't have. and i get those dreams a lot. waking up happy and then become sad and useless. today in star testing, the graffiti on the desk told me to go die. so i sat there and watched kids play cards and read sigmund freud. and the other graffiti.

i stare. daydreams are stupid. they waste time. time is wasted. dreams are strange. because they can seem so happy, but leave a sad feeling. or they can be something else and leave the most completely opposite feeling. i hate them. i think ill read sigmund freud and learn all about dreams and how to not create them. theres apparently 4 things that stimulates dreams. and they are all pretty much unable to dodge. one is external and another is internal happenings during sleep. another is physical problems like bad kidneys. and the last is what happens during awakening. so i guess i could remove my brain and ill never have another stupid dream. dreams are stupid because they recall memory that is random and insignificant. everything is insignificant. i never want another dream.

[betto1231] I think everybody here is a little fucked up
[['__']] NO SHIT!
[xiarary] sure we are.

the sky is cloudy today. my crayons won't melt. the sun is gone. hidden songs aren't really hidden songs. some stupid bands even write that they are hidden and give the lyrics in the booklet things. some bands put hidden songs after like 1 minute of silence on the same track as the last song on the album. and then if that last song is really good, it cant really be put on repeat because it would loop through the whole song and the silence and the other 'hidden' song. its so annoying. then other bands put hidden songs after a bunch of blank tracks. like mikami chisako. has like 11 tracks. then 12-98 are all empty songs. and 99 is some secret song. and its just misleading because its like 99 songs. its like "omfg! i got my money's worth." but not really because its all blank. then there was some band that made a whole cd of lawnmower sounds. 45 minutes of grass mowing. yay. i think ill become rich and famous and release an album and have a hidden song. and it wont exist on that cd because its hidden.

today i drove with almost no gas. its really exciting. because of the fear of running out of gas completely. the calculator thing on the car that calculates how many miles left didn't even work anymore. because level of gas was too low. so i drove and drove and felt the car power dissapear. and then. got to a gas station. and everything was fine. and then i got home and did homework. yay. on a completely unrelated topic, election things for class officers were yesterday. and i voted. i used my democratic powers and voted for losers that lost. but thats a little redundant. i think anyone that REALLY cares about the school shouldn't run because they are just getting in the way for all the other kids that want the position for college stuff. the people that REALLY care about school should give those college-ambitious kids what they want. because if the college-ambitious kids lose, then all hell breaks loose and they start complaining about how their lives suck and they are forced to get a 5.0 gpa. and stuff. and thats really annoying.

d0 Nk3X: i wrote an emo song
d0 Nk3X: cuz i thoguht you died

today my english teacher said she didn't want to teach. so she showed us a video made by some former student that is stationed in iraq. so we saw a bunch of pictures in a slideshow and listened to the music from that slideshow. and so i watched people run over by tanks and people's heads half missing to the music of simple plan and similar emo bands like greenday. or whatever category these bands are in. punk. whatever. then i watched marines run around with their male organs hanging out and stupid stuff. they duct tape each other to beds and wrestle each other and hang pigeons and scare others away by hanging organs out pant holes. i think those military guys are stupid. they are in the middle of a battlefield and they are screwing around and being stupid. and then you get liberal teachers that are like 'omg our military is getting shot and killed. i hate the government.' i think those military people should actually do stuff instead of play around.

i f331 50 w45t3d: mmm
i f331 50 w45t3d: for the essay california thingy
i f331 50 w45t3d: some kid wrote
i f331 50 w45t3d: "FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU DIE THIS IS ARBITRATY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU OMFG DIE"
i f331 50 w45t3d: that kid in my class yeah
azN xrE taRD BOI: lol
i f331 50 w45t3d: anyway the teacher checked the essays before they were sent off
i f331 50 w45t3d: so uhhh
i f331 50 w45t3d: he's not gonna be in pioneer anymore

today i realized. school takes up like 20% of life. it owns life. assuming 80 year life, at least 12 years of school and 4 extra years. thats too much. i think everyone should sit down and eat candy and be happy and die fat. and then not go to school and spend life eating. or not. i dont remember anything. my printer is out of ink. paper kills trees. trees are paper. dirt are trees. we are dirt. we are trees. trees are us.

BeatingIt2Hard: You know what's a bad idea?
azN xrE taRD BOI: hm?
BeatingIt2Hard: At first I thought it didn't really matter.
BeatingIt2Hard: But apparently it does with some people.
BeatingIt2Hard: You should never tell a girl that her thong is showing.
BeatingIt2Hard: I used to think otherwise.
azN xrE taRD BOI: lol
BeatingIt2Hard: But you know.
BeatingIt2Hard: I guess it is a "perverted" act to notify her of her situation.
BeatingIt2Hard: And it is bad enough to the point where the teacher sends you out.